Carpet & Car Cleaning Valet Service

$29 for a Professional Mattress Shampoo Clean, Deodorise & Sanitisation from Carpet and Car Valet Service (value up to $65)

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If you really need convincing...

My dearest Emily

I sit alone in my bed, a heavy burden in my chest. Consumption has overtaken me and I fear the worst. I look out the window at the children playing, oblivious to my sorrow, and think back fondly on simpler days. At the ripe old age of 33, I will die knowing I have lived a good life. Please take care of my cats when I am gone.


Dear Hilda

Get a hold of yourself. It's the 21st century - you just need to see a doctor and get some antibiotics. I'm making an appointment for you now - and while you're at the doctor, we're going to do something about your bed. I bet the mattress is super gross.

You're in luck, though - the team at Carpet and Car Valet Service are offering a great treat today. For just $29, they're offering a professional mattress shampoo clean, deodorise and sanitisation. The clean treats mould, dead skin, dust mites, storage odours, sweat odours and urine spills, so it's sure to get your mattress looking and feeling great. This treat is valid for mattress sizes up to a King size.

Okay, that settles it - I'm clicking Buy on this treat, then giving them a call to book an appointment. I'll be over to your place in ten minutes to bring you some chicken soup, which you will eat in the kitchen like a civilised human being.

Much love,